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The Price of Perfectionism

Posted on Monday, December 18, 2006 at 09:09AM by Registered CommenterPhilippa Kennealy in | Comments2 Comments
12-18-06perfectionistic.jpgLast week, I received emails from two physicians on the same day, both addressing the challenge that perfectionism raises. One physician wrote: "Being a perfectionist can be a stumbling block and something I must work on!" , while the other wrote: "However, if I can't execute the idea perfectly, then it is worthless".

This got me thinking about what perfectionism really is and what it potentially costs us in our efforts to make a success of our lives.

How often have you talked yourself out of taking next steps because they have seemed like a waste of time - you'll never get it right, so why bother?

As a belief, perfectionism is a double-edged sword. It keeps us striving towards an ultimate result, AND it also becomes the very thing that paralyzes us, with the fear that we will never measure up to some impossibly high standards.

In his fascinating book The Paradox of Choice, author and psychologist Barry Schwartz describes two types of people - Maximizers and Satisficers.

Maximizers need to make the perfect decision. They research extensively, they scrutinize comparative charts, they bombard friends and colleagues for a dozen "second opinions" and they agonize over making exactly the right decision.

Satisficers, on the other hand, approach a decision with a threshold of minimum criteria that need to be met - they know their basic needs. Once that threshold is crossed, they make their decision or take action without much in-depth evaluation of the various options. Whichever one meets their criteria first is the one they usually select!

What was most intriguing to me in the book was the clear evidence that satisficers rate their happiness with life significantly higher than maximizers do. They also score lower on depression screening. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that, since the "perfect decision" or "perfect result" probably don't exist, the unfortunate maximizer is more likely to experience disappointment with the less-than-perfect outcome of his or her decision!

Although this book is written mostly about our choices as consumers, it reveals something about our psychological make-up and why the pursuit of perfectionism in the face of plenty of "good enough" options is so taxing to our well-being.

Here are some reasons for you to consider abandoning perfectionism:

  • You can take advantage of the opportunity to get a head start. Given that most others will be agonizing over whether to start a business, and that there is also a likelihood that at least one other person in the world is contemplating starting a business similar to yours, by jumping in and getting going, you will have a "first mover's advantage"!
  • You will discover what it's like to experiment and play. Being a perfectionist means you need to have figured out everything in advance of starting. This puts a big damper on creativity!! When last did you see a seven-year old who knew exactly what her sand castle would look like once she was finished finding decorative objects on the beach?
  • You will shorten your learning curve. Contrary to expectations, being willing to learn from your own mistakes and those of others will speed up your learning, rather than hamper it.
  • Your stress levels will drop. Wouldn't it be a huge relief to NOT have to make the perfect decision, or start a business with the perfectly perfected idea? Imagine if you could make it up as you went, being open to help and insights from others, and enjoying the actual process instead of being hung up on whether you will get the intended results or not.
  • You will have more fun. It seems to follow naturally that if your stress were less, and you were experimenting, playing and learning more quickly, that you'd also be relishing the experience a whole lot more - right?
  • You'll realize that most of your fears were the "False Evidence Appearing Real" kind. Lurking behind most perfectionists' facades are fears - the insidious "I'm unworthy", "I might be rejected or laughed at" or "I might fail" kind. Dig a little deeper and you'll be amazed to discover how much a creation of your own worried imagination these fears are.
  • You'll be able to laugh at yourself one day when you look back and see how much easier it was than you imagined. Self-explanatory - we are almost universally programmed to anticipate the worst and fill the gaps with the "negative"! I suspect this is true of even the most deluded optimists.

I think William Faulkner said it best:

"All of us fail to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible".

Or for a bit more levity: 

I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.
-- Anne Lamott

PS: Here's a cool test to take to check your perfectionistic tendencies. Out of respect for my own privacy, I cannot reveal my own results!! They will offer you the opportunity to purchase the detailed results - I would only advise that if you haven't figured yourself out yet.

Which are you - a Maximizer or a Satisficer??

Reader Comments (2)

Hello Philippa,

I like your post and agree with you fully. I also see perfectionism as one of the mechanisms behind procrastination. It allows us to postpone the action forever...some many things need to be done before, right? research, analyses, second opinions etc. The truth might be it is a fear that keeps us at bay. Fear of failure, fear of criticism etc.
December 18, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMarcin
Indeed Marcin - I agree completely. You insightfully jumped ahead of my thoughts even as I was still writing the blog post!
Procrastination is very often the "twin" of perfectionism, and I see both tendencies on prominent display in myself and many other physicians. It seems to be prevalent in our very self-selected profession - high standards taken to an extreme.
December 18, 2006 | Registered CommenterPhilippa Kennealy

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