I enjoy the sometimes provocative posts of Matthew Stibbe , a smart, witty British writer of the blog Bad Language. His most recent post was, however, as straightforward as they get, in which he listed the "do's" and "don'ts" of how to ask someone to be a mentor.

If you agree that most physicians are not innately talented at or educated about starting and growing a business, then it makes sense to seek out a mentor as soon as possible. In most of the interviews I have conducted with accomplished physician entrepreneurs (listen to an example at "Conversations with Trailblazers"), they shared a common nugget that getting help from mentors, mostly outside medicine and inside business, was one key to their success. 

Here are Matthew's recommendations:

DOs

1. Remember that you are asking a favour. Generally people want two to four days a month of my time. Unpaid. This time isn’t free to me. Usually it means giving up my free time to do it. One or two people seem to expert 24/7 phone and email support plus an instant, passionate commitment to their company. Uh oh!
2. Have a business plan. Even if it is one or two sides of paper. I need to know that you have spent more than five minutes thinking about your business. I’m not a VC - it doesn’t have to be perfect or complete. I can help with that. It’s not a mentor’s job to come up with a business plan for you.
3. Have a plausible business. It’s good if you can show some kind of product, website, demand or sales. At the very least, be serious about starting your business. Several people have come to me while still in full-time employment and virtually asked me to start their business for them before they would quit. This isn’t a mentor’s role.
4. Show me a reason to do it. It doesn’t have to be money. In fact, I never received a penny from the three businesses I did mentor. But the product has to be interesting, the journey promising, perhaps there’s a possibility of equity or fees down the line. In one case, I mentored a personal training company and we time swapped: training for mentoring. If I’d charged them a full commercial rate for my time, it would have been unfair but swapping one hour of my time for one hour of their time seemed fair without being expensive.
5. Make contact by introduction or recommendation, if possible. An email out of the blue is less likely to get a hearing than an introduction from a mutual friend.
6. Do your homework on your would-be mentor. It’s more like a seduction than a recruitment exercise. Find out what your person is interested in, what is likely to motivate them, who they know and what they might be able to contribute. Use that information when you’re making your approach.
7. Do ask someone who has something to offer. Uncle Tom may be a good chap, but you need a mentor who has been through the process of starting a business themselves.

DON’Ts

1. Don’t be late for meetings. More than any other business relationship, the mentor relationship depends on trust and respect. Being flaky, especially when you are courting a mentor, is a recipe for disaster.
2. Don’t expect your mentor to run your business. A mentor isn’t a manager or a director. If you want a manager, hire one. If you need a lawyer or an accountant, hire them.
3. Don’t take them too seriously. It’s your business, not their’s. You have to make the decisions and even I have been known to make the occasional mistake.
4. Don’t ignore their advice. I quit mentoring one firm because they simply would not listen to the key point I was making: the reason that they were not growing or making a profit was because they did no marketing at all. No customers, no revenues. The entrepreneur was happy building a better mousetrap but figured that people would come to him by telepathy. The main reason to have a mentor is to see a bigger picture. Ignore it at your peril.
5. Don’t confuse investors with mentors. I have spoken to several successful businessmen who have taken on angel investment because they really liked the person with the money and thought they would be good mentors. In two cases, the relationship soured quickly and the investor became a thorn in the flesh and, in both cases, ended up driving the original entrepreneur out of the business.
6. Always ask before using their name. Another mentoree added my name to all his websites and correspondence, naming me as a non-executive director of the company (I wasn’t). Not good.

As to that queasy feeling you might have about imposing on someone else's time, I found it helpful to realize that, once people are established and have achieved their big goals, most are eager to "give back" and perhaps even have the chance to display some of their hard-won knowledge and wisdom! 

So go for it - find a mentor, and remember the "Stibbe Golden Rules" of how to act. Your mentor will appreciate it.

Any mentors (or mentees) out there with anything to add? 

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I shall be putting my blog "on ice" for a couple of weeks as I and my family take our packed bags and brave the lines at LAX tomorrow evening - we will be spending a couple of weeks in the UK in a small, Internet-free village in the Cotswolds. Nice way to unwind after a hectic month of birthing this website alongside keeping my business afloat - wouldn't you agree?