When "transition" strikes -- 5 tips for thriving during change
The topics of Change and Transition surface frequently in coaching, as most clients are self-selecting to deliberately consider altering their status quo.
Change is a provocateur - shimmering and glossy one moment, dark and threatening the next. Its attraction differs from one person to the next.
I thrive on change, eager to discover the new, deeply curious about what is next, and restless with most forms of predictability (I DO however like to be able to predict that my family will be gathering for dinner at night!). I go for the shimmer.
My husband personifies resistance to change. He is a stable and solid, and likes things to be just so. Change is murky and scary to him (and he has had to hang on, with what I've put him though!). He serves as my reminder that most people in the world are probably nowhere near as futuristic and flighty as I am. And as my greatest steadying influence, he helps me celebrate the power of the present.
So if you are grappling with transition, here are my 5 suggestions for managing the thrill ride:
1. Give yourself permission TO NOT KNOW the answers right away.
I met with a client today who is truly willing to not force a decision about her best "next professional direction". Instead, she is allowing herself to continue earning from her prosperous practice, while she accepts invitations to work with different groups of clients that catch her interest and attention. She is voluntarily engaging in transition without immediate clear answers.
2. Carve out mini-retreat times with yourself.
What would you do with a day, or even an afternoon, devoted entirely to self-reflection? Away from the office or home - with a blank sheet of paper or unsullied document on your laptop in a coffee shop, or a towel and a thinking cap on the beach.
Here are three Kinder Questions (from financial guru George Kinder) to ask yourself, as you survey your life and profession from the navel-gazing position under a tree:
Question 1
Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything?
Question 2
Imagine that your doctor says you have only five to 10 years to live. You won't feel sick, but you'll never know when death will come. What will you do? Will you change your life? How?
Question 3
Now imagine that your doctor says you have only one day left to live. Ask yourself: What did I miss? What did I not get to be or do?
3. Tell the Judge he/she needs to take an overdue vacation.
Change affords a field day opportunity for your Inner Critic to indulge in self-doubt, "Who do you think you are?" questioning and "How dare you believe you'll succeed" censure.
It's time to give the Judge a few days off -- just gently let him or her know that you are not available right now for any debate. And then tune him or her out if you hear The Voice.
4. Give your right brain some real "air time".
Last weekend, I watched one of the most fascinating short and compelling presentations ever, on what life is like living with right brain dominance. I urge you to watch this 18-minute affecting presentation by neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor as she describes her experience during and after her stroke!
Then you will understand what I mean by giving your right brain air time - she describes it way better than I could!
5. Know that very few decisions are forever.
As an adolescent or young adult deciding your college majors or your graduate course of action, don't you recall being overwhelmed by the sense of permanence of your choice?
Well, I'm here to reassure you (through deep personal experience, with a career that has waltzed all over the ballroom) that none of your career options are etched in copper. You can afford to question whether to stay put or move on. You are not stuck with your future selections -- no matter what the naysayers opine.
How do you cope with change?


Reader Comments (1)
The training offered a good deal beyond the financials. Yes, there is financial acumen there, but there is also integrity and heart ... To wit, Kinder's purpose reads: "to enable individuals to find freedom and financial security regardless of their economic circumstances by developing clarity, ease and a sense of purpose in their relationship to money."
The Three Questions were indeed useful in unpacking deep, deep stuff around goals in life. For me, it took a couple of drafts and some interaction with other participants to get beneath an initial list to tap into what I really was after.
In other words, you might want to get comfortable under your navel-gazing tree ... and perhaps occasionally dialogue with someone you trust (maybe even someone who is doing the same life-surveying practice as you!)
Thanks, Philippa!